Discipline

Meditation — 9/14/23

Why do I struggle with overcoming addictive thoughts and behaviors?

The answers you seek lie within you.

You still give Ego too much leash. Discipline requires a strong hand.

There is always resistance in the retraining process. To teach a system new boundaries can create challenges. For there are sets of beliefs, ways of doing things, of self preservation, of self protection that have long been in place within your construct. Some of these beliefs and programs are not aware of their obsolescence and will fight for their protection with the understanding that they are in place to protect the Avatar known as Glen that carries the sacred Soul of God within it. This resistance is to be expected. It is the system operating as designed.

However, this resistance is overcome by continuing to retrain these automatic programs through loving awareness — rewriting them to serve the present moment, situations, and circumstances.

Why does it feel so challenging for me to work through these addictive thoughts and behaviors?

These are automatic programs of avoidance. During childhood, you experienced certain feelings, situations, and traumas that you did not have the faculties, tools, or bandwidth to properly process at the time. In order to prevent your system from overloading or shutting down, your untrained ego learned that avoidance was a tactic that could “successfully" protect the Avatar/Soul construct. Thus, your subconscious wrote programs to step in and react with avoidance whenever similar situations were encountered or similar feelings were triggered or arose to the surface.

This program and programs like it were put in place to protect you until you developed enough grounding, life experience, self confidence, understanding, and a more embodied connection to your heart so that you could fully process and integrate these traumas and emotions.

However, purging these old programs is not an automated process. It takes conscious awareness to detect them and diligence and practice to rewrite them.

Feelings of discomfort, disharmony, or perceived challenges are often conscious indicators of old subconscious programming that is out of alignment with your current vibrational frequency. These are portals of opportunity for healing and ascension.

Since childhood, you have worked to build strength, resilience, and groundedness in your being. You have grown roots that reach ever deeper into the Earth and the Soul of Existence to hold you steady — to hold you in a place of love and understanding so that these unprocessed emotions and traumas may be felt, addressed, processed, loved, integrated, and released without the interference of unconsciously-created subconscious programming.

This is not an easy process, and you will always be tested, for that is the point of this journey —

- to be tested and stretched, to grow deeper and wider into yourself — into divinity

- to fill yourself with wholeness and love, patience and understanding

- to straddle the light and the dark with equal mastery

- to see, feel, understand, and love the value of each side

There is no “better side”. While love and light is naturally the more “enjoyable side”, it is the darkness that contains the most valuable treasure, the richest nourishment that makes us grow, and the potent experiences that sharpen our discernment so we may see farther and feel deeper.

Plumb the depths of this darkness with love and curiosity. Find that shimmering gold at the bottom of the lake. Find that glowing bubble of memory, insight, and 20/20 hindsight. Always remember, plumbing the depths with fear only leads to barren darkness.

As I've continued to plumb these depths, I feel there there an original occurrence of memory or trauma that has led to addictive thoughts and behaviors, but I can never seem to uncover it or remember it. Is there something there I need to address?

Yes, but it is possible you may never need to address it directly.

But if I don’t address it, will I be able to move past it or through it? Will I be able to reprogram myself successfully?

Yes.

How do I do that?

Perseverance. Practice. Discipline.

Discipline is one of the lessons you signed up for in this life to learn, to understand, to integrate into who you are — into your spiritual DNA.

This seeking to find an original occurrence — while technically internal — is still an external search for a “cure” from what you perceive as addictive behaviors and thoughts. For you are still in a state of “IF-THEN". IF you uncover this original occurrence, THEN you will be free to let go, to reprogram, to move forward.

Be aware, in this search, you are operating from a limiting belief. This belief states that you yourself cannot overcome or love your way through this perceived road block in order to move forward, but that rather, you must first attain knowledge of your past in order to do so. However, your past is only an illusion. This is similar to believing you can reach the end of a rainbow by walking toward it.

The reprogramming must come from within YOU — nothing but the pure desire to step into who you truly are.

This is why the original occurrence — or what you perceive as "the answer" — must continue to be veiled from you in this moment. For if it is given now, the lesson will not be learned. It will only reenforce this limiting belief that only an external achievement can grant you permission to finally let go and move forward.

You must walk the path of faith in yourself, God, love, and faith that the universe will always support you in your work toward evolving into the next best version of yourself — into the state of perpetual growth, expansion, and love that only truly comes from within.

This is will power. This is discipline. This is the owning of yourself.

What does it mean to "own yourself?"

When there is an absence of spiritual consciousness within a person’s mind-body-spirit complex, their subconscious programming takes over all thinking, perception, and behavioral patterns. Most of this subconscious programming was written throughout childhood while in disconnected fight or flight states of fear, not from love. This subconscious “consciousness” creates a sophisticated autopilot called Ego to run the show since the “real pilot” or “spiritual consciousness” is still sound asleep. Ego is the “false self”. Untrained Ego lives in fear and runs on all of the negative programs within the subconscious. Thus, it gets a bad reputation and people want to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

Ultimately, the Ego wants to be owned. It wants to be told what to do. It wants a conscious programmer. The Ego wants divine order and to dance with the divine. But it needs an awakened Avatar/Soul complex to lead that dance. That awakened Avatar is you. You are here to dance with God and the Ego — to love it, to give it direction, to give it purpose, to give it divine life with God-inspired programming. It all comes from you.

The Ego is here to serve you on your journey and in doing so, it serves God. For you cannot do this journey without Ego. You need an auto-response system. You need the subconscious. It is a crucial part of what makes this Maya journey possible. The system itself is always complete, but it is up to you to TRULY OWN and operate your whole system.

You cannot dictate everything that happens in your life, for the universe unfolds in its own unique way in service of each individual’s journey. However, it is your responsibility to own all of your faculties and to run a tight ship — to make sure each and every part of you is in service to others, yourself, and God. This is how you navigate divinely.

For it is not "all in God’s hands.” You came here with responsibilities, and the biggest responsibility you have is to be a loving Father to your own Ego. To teach it, to mold it, to program it, to love it.

You are presented with these perceived challenges you inquire about for this precise reason. You must embody the knowing that YOU have the responsibility, and the power, and the capability to reprogram yourself in order to fully step into the wholeness that you are.

It is your purpose to ensure that every part of you comes into harmonious alignment under the Kingdom of You on every level in each moment to the absolute best of your ability.

Practice your discipline. This is the work. This is the way. This is the responsibility of divine knowledge. The time for skating by is over. It is time to engage as the Father, as the King that you know you are and always have been. It is now that you put on the crown and take the throne, scepter in hand. It is time to be. It is time to embody unconditional love.